Be Your Own Witness

What if the peace you’re searching for isn’t out there—but in your ability to witness yourself?

That idea has stayed with me ever since I first heard a quote that struck a deep chord: “If you are moved by the praise of others, you will also be moved by their criticism.” That one hit hard. Because it’s true—if your confidence rises and falls based on external validation, your sense of worth will always feel unstable.

Since today happens to be my birthday, I’m touching on something I hold especially close: the importance of self-validation, which I call being your own witness—one of our keys for empowered communication.

This is more than a mindset. It’s a practice. A radical act of self-love.

You set the bar

We live in a world full of comparison and shifting expectations. But here’s the truth: no one else knows what it’s taken for you to show up today. No one else has the full picture of what you’re navigating. So why let the world define what your “win” should look like?

1. You get to set that bar.
2. And then, you get to celebrate when you meet it.

This shift is especially vital if you’re someone who lives with chronic illness, neurodivergence, or simply a different internal rhythm than the world seems to expect. For me, there are things that take more effort than they might for others. And when I recognize that effort—when I witness myself—I’m honoring the truth of my own journey.

One of the most powerful tools I’ve found for doing this is journaling. I use the Day One Journal app (which I adore), and it’s become a sacred space for me to capture the small, meaningful wins. After coming through a deep season of depression, even something like “I showered today” became worth documenting. That acknowledgment matters.

Witnessing creates perspective

Each year on my birthday, I record a private video for myself. It’s not meant to be seen by anyone else—it probably wouldn’t make much sense to anyone else, either. But it’s a way for me to reflect, to honor where I’ve been, and to celebrate that I’m still here.

When I go back and watch the videos from past years, I get to see my own growth through my own eyes. I remember the trials I’ve walked through and the victories I’ve claimed. It helps me see the arc of my life with compassion and clarity. That kind of internal witnessing—of trials, of healing, of growth—is a profound gift we can give ourselves.

And when you combine that with journaling, it becomes a whole ecosystem of self-support. I tag entries to make them easy to revisit later. I mark moments that felt significant. I create a breadcrumb trail back to the truth of who I am, so I don’t forget it on the hard days.

What if your internal dialogue is the problem?

It’s worth noting that some of us are already “witnessing” ourselves—but with a harsh internal critic instead of a kind and supportive voice. If that resonates, I want to gently say: you deserve a different tone. That’s a separate conversation, but it’s one worth having. If your inner voice feels more like judgment than compassion, take a moment to explore the power of your internal dialogue and consider what it would look like to water yourself with kindness instead of acid.

Self-validation isn’t about ignoring feedback or isolating yourself from others. It’s about anchoring your confidence in something more stable than someone else’s opinion. It’s about recognizing your efforts, owning your journey, and honoring your wins—no matter how small they may seem to the outside world.

Actionable Insights

• Celebrate your private wins. What’s something you’ve done lately that felt meaningful, even if no one else noticed? Write it down. Let it count.
• Set your own standard for success. Are you measuring your growth by someone else’s scale? What would it look like to define your own?
• Record milestones for you, not them. Consider starting a private journal or video log that exists solely for your own reflection and encouragement.
• Be a gentle witness. Are you offering yourself the same compassion you’d give a friend? If not, what’s one way you can start today?

The Importance of Self-Validation (Be Your Own Witness) is the 9th of the 13 Keys for Empowered Communication.