One of the most liberating — and sometimes challenging — truths I’ve encountered on this journey is this: not everyone wants what you want. Not everyone values what you value. And not everyone is going to make the choices you would make. And that’s not just okay — it’s by design.
I think of it as everybody having their own picnic.
The Picnic Metaphor
Imagine that all of life’s experiences are laid out like a vast spread — food, games, sun, shade, all of it available. Some people are drawn to the warmth and the light. They want connection, joy, compassion, growth. Others are drawn to entirely different flavors — control, intensity, self-interest, even darkness. Both are choosing from the same spread. Both are exercising their free will.
Neither is wrong in a cosmic sense. They are simply choosing their preferred picnic.
Free Will & Boundaries
Here’s where it gets practical. When someone in your life makes choices that feel hurtful, hypocritical, or completely misaligned with your values, it can trigger a very real sense of injustice. You can see clearly what they’re doing. You may even be able to see how it contradicts what they claim to believe. And that gap — between what someone professes and how they actually show up — can feel infuriating.
But the picnic metaphor offers a way through that. Because when you truly internalize that every person is sovereign over their own journey, that their path is theirs to walk and not yours to correct, something shifts. The injustice doesn’t disappear — but the charge around it softens. You can hold your perspective clearly without needing them to change their picnic to match yours. You enjoy your sphere of influence, and leave them to enjoy theirs.
Your Picnic Is Yours to Choose
This also means your choices are yours. You get to decide what your picnic looks like — what you feed, what you cultivate, what you allow to take up space in your experience. Understanding polarity — the full spectrum of what’s available — actually empowers you to choose more consciously rather than simply reacting to whatever’s in front of you.
You are not required to match anyone else’s frequency. You are not required to eat from their spread. You just have to tend your own.
Actionable Insights
- Notice where you’re trying to change someone else’s picnic. When you feel frustration, injustice, or the urge to correct someone, pause and ask: am I trying to manage their choices, or am I tending my own? The two feel very different energetically.
- Get clear on what your picnic actually looks like. What are the non-negotiables for you — the values, the energies, the experiences you want to cultivate? The clearer you are about your own spread, the less energy you spend reacting to everyone else’s.
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